Chögyam Trungpa says, “By taking refuge, we are committing ourselves to freedom.”

 

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When I think about what taking refuge means to me, I think about a somatic experience of feeling safe, warm, and comforted.

When people commit to Buddhism, they go through a ceremony where they “take refuge” in the practice.

In my times of turmoil, my practices ground me, providing steadiness and a sense of connection. Over and over again, I return to my practices and rely on them to see me through.

I was going through some old journals the other day and found notes and reflections on Buddhist philosophy from 2001.

I was reminded that I’ve been studying and practicing Buddhist meditation for the last 18 years. And I’m still hungry to practice and study more; to try on different teachings and implement them in my everyday life.

 

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I was raised Catholic, but these days I don’t consider myself Catholic at all. Although I’m hesitant to use labels, Buddhism is the practice that now resonates the most.

What does that mean? Do I really want to be a full-on Buddhist? Do I want to “take refuge,” as they do in Buddhism? Am I ready to commit to that?

These are big questions.

I remember the beauty of Rilke when he speaks about loving these questions, and not worrying about the answers. Instead he tells us to “live everything,” and I think the Buddha would support that.

 

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I was recently invited to a discussion on what it means to take refuge.

Taking refuge, as one of my teachers said, means you’re committing to Buddhism. You no longer “shop around,” cherry picking techniques and ideas. 

You commit to the lineage, view, and philosophy of Buddhism. You take refuge in the Three Jewels of Buddhism: The Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.

 

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I want to be clear about what each of these jewels means to me.

> Taking refuge in the Buddha doesn’t mean you worship the Buddha like a God or supernatural deity.

It means that everyday you’re reminded of the awakened qualities the Buddha possessed, and the path that led to his enlightenment. This means anyone has the ability to awaken, at any moment.

> Taking refuge in the Dharma means you take comfort and seek support in the teachings of the Buddha.

It’s an invitation to use the teachings as part of your spiritual path. It means you integrate everything that happens to you on your path, you apply the teachings in your everyday life, and you view everything as workable… even when things suck.

> Taking refuge in the Sangha means we lean on and give back to our chosen community. 


Sangha is a sanskrit word for community, usually referring to a specific Buddhist community. To me, Sangha doesn’t only mean Buddhist community.

I’m fortunate to have many Sanghas in my life…

• My family
• My students

• My teachers

• My friends

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I’ve been considering taking refuge in Buddhism for quite a while, and after an intense 6-week teaching assignment, the tug on my heart got stronger.

I mentioned it to a friend and she said, “What do you mean take refuge, are you going to shave your head, get rid of your clothes for robes, and run off to a monastery?”

Another friend said, “Why do you need to do that? You’re already doing it!”

It was in that moment that I smiled a deep inward smile – that was precisely the reason I wanted to take refuge: Because I’ve already been doing it.

My teacher Susan said, “Taking refuge is like getting married: You’re already in a serious relationship with the person. When you marry them, nothing changes, yet everything changes.”

 

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As I contemplated taking refuge I considered the three levels of practice – Outer, Inner, and Secret – and how they apply to taking refuge.

OUTER LEVEL OF PRACTICE

On the Outer level, taking refuge and living life as a spiritual being means having a regular sitting practice, going on retreats, studying, and being part of a Buddhist community. Things you do that others can see.

INNER LEVEL OF PRACTICE

On the Inner level, taking refuge means becoming your own best friend. It means you’re committed to being in a deep, loving relationship with yourself. You feel a sense of wonder and flow, and a sense of connection to the earth, nature, and all life forms.

The artist Joan Mitchell had a recent exhibit in New York called I carry my landscapes around with me, and to me it perfectly represents the Inner level of practice. Our lives are constantly reflecting our practices, and vice versa.

SECRET LEVEL OF PRACTICE

The most interesting and profound level of practice, for me, is the Secret level. It’s intimate, scary, exciting, and beautiful. It sparks joy and warmth in my heart.

The Secret level represents the inner workings of your practice. The nuances no one sees. 

The private side of my practice feels so special and cherished that I don’t feel compelled to share it with anyone – not even my husband.

It’s almost as if – and I hesitate to say this, but it’s my truth – I’m having a secret affair. And it’s healthy to have those things we keep close to our hearts. Those elements that are just for us.

 

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On June 1, 2019, at 3pm, it happened. I went through the ceremony of taking refuge in Buddhism. It was a small, intimate, simple ceremony, and literally, with a snap of my teacher’s fingers, everything changed… yet nothing changed.

It was a profound moment, and I can still feel it resonating in my heart.

 

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I was told to expect three shifts…

ATTITUDE: The first would be a change in attitude. This would show up as an increase in gentleness toward myself and others.

BEHAVIOR: Second would be in my behavior. I would be able to see that all circumstances are workable, no matter how they may feel in the moment.

NAME: Third, I would receive a Tibetan name. I am now Jigme Chodron: Fearless, Dharma, Torch. I think I will be contemplating that one for a lifetime.

I want to thank all my teachers who have guided and supported me along this journey. And I want to acknowledge the Universe that holds all the teachers, students, and lineage holders who have gone before me. I feel so fortunate.

Thank you for witnessing me and being a part of my Sangha.

With love,
Michele