I recently heard a talk by Lama Rod Owens, and I was struck by something he said…

“I have been working with a really profound mantra.”

My ears perked up, and I felt excited inside.

I could feel myself literally leaning in to hear what was coming next.

And then he said…

“The mantra is ‘Okay’.”

What?!?!

“The mantra is ‘Okay,’” he repeated again, and then proceeded to say…

“You might not think this is much of anything, saying ‘Okay,’ and if that’s the case, then you are not using it correctly.”

I instantly felt a strong sense of presence.

I could hear my inner chatter about the word ‘Okay.’

Here I am, weeks later, still thinking about it and wanting to share.

As I continued to listen, I tried to release my preformed opinions on this word…

To me, using the word ‘Okay’ can feel very dismissive, as if you’re hardly acknowledging the situation, and just pushing it away.

It’s a quick response you give to someone you don’t really want to engage in conversation with.

It’s a sentiment of mediocrity.

It’s a way of communicating how you feel when you don’t know what else to say.

In noticing and releasing these opinions, I created space for what followed.

What I was able to hear and decipher from the rest of his talk was this…

Saying ‘Okay’ is different than saying okay.

Saying ‘Okay’ does not mean you’re blindly accepting something, or brushing it under the rug.

Saying ‘Okay’ can be a deep, intelligent way to communicate acceptance of a situation that’s happening… and that perhaps you don’t have control over.

Let’s play with some examples…

“My heart is full of pain.”

‘Okay’

“I am frustrated and angry with a loved one.”

‘Okay’

“I feel like I am drowning in tasks, responsibilities, and expectations.”

‘Okay’

“The world is a mess.”

‘Okay’

“I feel so much gratitude to be alive.”

‘Okay’

At first, this ‘Okay’ mantra made sense on an intellectual level, but I had to work with it personally to really get it.

Here’s what I learned…

‘Okay’ does not necessarily mean you’re condoning, celebrating, or judging something or someone.

It’s a way of noticing, acknowledging, and accepting whatever your life situation is in the moment, with no judgment.

When this sank in, I felt a softening.

A literal softening of my physical body.

A softening toward myself, and the situation I was navigating at that moment.

I was able to create space to see what I really needed.

I was able to feel that my nervous system was in overdrive.

I was able to BE with the bone-tiredness of my body.

I was able to see that I’m not always going to get what I want or need.

Saying ‘Okay’ reminds me that whatever happens, happens.

Though we may not get what we want, we might get the exact thing we didn’t realize we needed.

‘Okay’ reminds us to trust ourselves, that we already have everything we need, and to cherish our deep communion with ourselves.

To be able to sit in our own discomfort, frustration, anxiety, joy, or delight.

To realize we are not alone in any of these feelings.

‘Okay’ means letting yourself feel joy.

Letting yourself feel hopelessness.

Letting yourself feel pissed off.

And letting it all be ‘Okay.’

Compassion is such a complex thing, especially when offering it to ourselves.

‘Okay’ is the great equalizer of the intricacy of compassion.

Let yourself BE, in the refuge of your silence… or whatever it is that you need.

Try on this simple mantra, ‘Okay’, and see if it helps you.

With love,
Michele

Photo: Will Fuller