Finding Inspiration in Chaos
Life is busy these days.
From teaching, to working on a year-long program at New York Zen Center, to adjusting to my new role as Nonna (yes, still!), I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected and energy-deficient.
I mean, I’ve had three colds since Luca was born!
Something is going on.
Have you been experiencing this on some level, too?
My world seems to be spinning faster and faster… AND spilling with so, so much beauty and love.
Through all of this, there’s a few nuggets of gold that keep coming through.
I’m being called to…
- Use this time to accelerate my level of wakefulness.
- Be inspired by the chaos.
- Remember to stay connected to myself.
Everything that’s happening in my life at this moment is teaching me something invaluable.
If I’m able to listen with curiosity – rather than judgment – I always learn a lot.
I’ve recently heard myself using the word should for many of the things I have to do.
Should is one of those words that makes anything feel like an obligation.
Should reduces my energetic vibration rather than raising it.
It’s a judgmental word.
When it comes in, I acknowledge it, and then let it go.
We all have certain things in life that we must do, but I think there needs to be a creative balance woven within our responsibilities.
The truth is that we don’t have to do things, we get to do them.
I love order, and I love structure, but right now, life doesn’t feel orderly or structured. And that’s ok.
Chaos can inspire us.
I’m reframing my thought process to welcome…
- all the busyness
- more commute time
- less sleeps in my own bed
- disruptions to my practice
Why?
Because each of these challenges is an avenue to feel inspired, rather than drained. To focus on what’s really important.
I allow each challenge to strengthen me and bring me further into my center.
Each one is a reminder to stay connected to myself, and to spirit… a word that I hesitate to use, honestly.
Because what is spirit, anyway?
For me, spirit is anything in my life that makes me feel whole.
Spirit is innately in me, and in you.
Of course, yoga and meditation play a huge role in this, but honestly, these days I feel like I need more than that.
I need to feed my heart energetically.
I need to feel grounded.
For me, today, connecting to myself – and to spirit – means more alone time, knitting, and sleep, sleep, sleep.
What’s been coming up for you lately?
How are you staying inspired and nourished?
Share with me in the comments below – I’d love to catch up with you.
Warmly,
Michele
Leave a Reply
INTERESTED IN FREE UPDATES & INSPIRATION FROM MICHELE?
Copyright 2024 Michele Sapanaro. All Rights Reserved.
Design & Development by
Ansley Fones • Photography by Andrew Dolgin, Robert Sturman, Susan Supak, and Erica Kao
Hi! I was going to finally come to your Thursday class last week but checked the schedule & saw you weren’t there! I couldn’t come on Thursdays in January but now I can so see you soon!
Nicole
Congratulations on making it real Michele!
xx
Three colds! Being around vulnerable little ones is a challenge! There’s a reason parenting is best done by the young! But grand parenting is such a gift! I was very lucky to be taken up as Grandma Maggie by a young family member who had 3 wonderfuly complex kids while living and teaching grade school here in NYC. It was time consuming, exhausting work but I totally miss that kind of chaos (tho not the colds). She and her family moved back to Minnesota, three years ago, where two full sets of grandparents reside. My single, retired life now involves few demands that I don’t originate myself. Chaos enters into the picture via my phone: politics from 3 news sources plus posts on Facebook from liberal friends who send long articles from various media that explain what the heck may be going on in this struggling country and world. Along with politics, I get newsletters and Facebook posts on keeping New Years resolutions (breaking habits), self-care, retirement budgeting, exercise, preventing falls, yoga, plus word of must-see movies, tv shows, jazz clubs, books, writing workshops! Facebook knows what interests me based on what I click on so there is an endless overload of information and many tempting distractions. Thank God I often crave company, my aging body pushes me to MOVE and my mind gets fed-up with repetitive information. Am working hard on limiting screen time, de-stressing and FOCUSING by meditating first thing, taking a terrific twice-weekly fitness class via Silver Sneakers (free at NY Sports Clubs via Medicare!), attending my beloved Yin Yoga and (drumroll) a new creative writing course to supplement my memoir group—both require intense focusing. It is amazing to me the excitement and energy I feel when I finally get some writing done. Am I lucky?! Yes! As you said, we don’t have to do [most of] these things, we GET to. I hope you somehow get to have more ‘spirit time’ for yourself. Knitting sounds like a great idea, sleep too. But colds come with being Nonna, I’m afraid!
Thank you for your share. It’s always so connecting to hear someone talk from the heart about what they are going through. I believe that this type of connection is one of the most healing experiences we can give each other because it makes us feel less alone, and that is one of the biggest barriers to peace in my opinion.
For me, nourishment is what is coming up for me. I’ve been experiencing less energy than usual and therefore less motivation to do all the things I usually do. It has prompted me to look more closely.
The first thing I notice is that I, too, find myself using “should” a lot and the lack of energy has me examining which things I want to do, which things are necessary, and which ones fall in the “should” category. I’m reprioritizing my time and energy accordingly.
The next thing I noticed is how often I feed myself negative talk and how little I feed myself enough nourishing food. I don’t “let” myself make the time for cooking/eating until I’ve been “productive” with my day. I see how unhealthy that is and that it is depleting my energy in more ways than one. It has made me reprioritize my health and it has made me realize that feeding myself is a vital part of self-care. It isn’t a “reward” for being “good/productive”. I’ve made big changes since 1/1/20 and I’m seeing the benefits of putting my needs first: sleep, food, kind self-talk….
The kicker is that I’m more productive and more available to the others in my life now that I’ve made myself a priority. Sending you love today and always.
Erica
Dear Michele – thank you for your message.
I find that now that I don’t have a full time job, I am sleeping 8-9 hours a night. Sometimes I go back to bed just because I can. Kind of reveling in the non sturctured world.
But also striving to create my own daily structure which is a challenge. I agree that this is a process, little by little, and a good gauge is doing things that we feel deeply about. Thank you. Joanne
I don’t know that I could welcome the chaotic things in my life that annoy me. But I could use the disruptive energy of these activities as feedback to make a change. If I think of it as energy, it doesn’t have the color of judgment attached. It’s more neutral or scientific.
My thoughts….